Where Have All [ ] Articles Gone?

no-articles-copy“It’s been going on a lot longer than we thought, Lieutenant,” Ms. White said.

“At first we thought they were just occasionally asserting their independence,” Ms. Strunk dabbed her nose with her handkerchief. “Now it’s becoming severe.”

Grammar nodded. “Most writers don’t realize how much articles do in a sentence until they’re gone. Can you give us some details? Was there unrest?”

“Well, A and An are always rather contentious. They’re never quite sure which should do what,” Ms. White explained. “We went over it thousands of times, but words like herb and union constantly present difficulties.”

“But The was always solid and dependable. Maybe we took them all for granted,” added Ms. Strunk.

Yes, small but vital to flowing sentences, Grammar mused.

“Do you think they took off of their own volition? Or do you think someone has ulterior motives for keeping them out of writing?”

“I hate to think there’s some nefarious scheme to keep our articles from us,” Ms. Strunk sobbed. “All we want is for them to come back and make our writing flow again!”

“I think it’s lazy writers shutting our articles out of their rightful places,” declared Ms. White.

Grammar pondered life without articles:

  • “We people of United States, in order to form more perfect union…”
  • “I have dream!”
  • “It was worst of times; it was best of times.”
  • Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe

Yes, Lieutenant Smith knew she had to track down those missing articles quickly. She turned to Dis Connect.

“Send out all points bulletins for A, An, and The as missing adjectives. We don’t suspect any foul play – yet.”

 

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